Wants for 2019

Earlier this year I wrote Liberations for 2018. Frankly, successful liberation was only the first one. So for 2019 I’ll try something else.

In 2019 I want:

Less Prague

As much as everyone tells me that Prague is beautiful and wages are here highest in Czech republic, I want away. I want away because it doesn’t feel like home, not even in the slightest. I┬ástill can’t get around that much because the city structure is too complicated.

More mental health care

Next year I’d like to start regular therapy, preferably with a psychologist with whom I won’t have to communicate in Czech language. At the moment I don’t feel safe enough around anyone who speaks Czech, and to a certain degree Slovak, to process past traumas. Unfortunately I am not in contact with others who experienced xenophobia from Czechs and it would be nice to compare notes.

More martial arts

As a teenager I did Katori Shinto Ryu and looking back it saved my life. Being around abusive mother and in xenophobic environment in general, it was the only place where I have felt the safe. Also learning to control my dyspraxic body and brain helped me in fighting through episodes of suicidal depression.

Less aloneness and singlehood

Being alone and single is to a certain degree ok and I am feeling that I want people in my life again. May be not as many as I had when I was in high school, they should be a lot less xenophobic than the people around me back then.

Being grey aro and gray ace doesn’t make being single as bad. That being said I’d love to try not being single for some time since I am not and don’t plan to be a consecrated virgin.

More books with non-cis, non-heterosexual undertones

I like reading books and one thing that can destroy the whole book is badly executed heterosexual romantic arc. So lesbian undertones and story arcs in books is something that I’ll actively seek out.