Published on 2017-10-08 11:01Those dreaded, awful, crappy, abhorrent routines which everyone on the planet Earth and nearby space hates. Actually they help me to stay sane and I miss them when chaos arrives.
I don't think most people suspect that I might be autistic unless they get really close to me. I can hold eye contact, if we are at least acquaintances I don't have problem with touch or being physically close to other people, my obsessions are HTML, CSS, accessibility, books and travel. So there's little to nothing that would give others a hint that I am more neuroatypical than quite common dyslexic[1. I have a hunch how it is in other countries but when I in elementary school fifth to third of my class were diagnosed dyslexics, so nothing out of ordinary].
What others, including family members who didn't live with me when I was growing up, don't see that I can't handle being around people too much, that I can't really handle sudden change of plans unless it's emergency or that my sensory issues can cause me anxiety and panic attacks. In this post I want to focus on daily routines which are something with which cause most problems at the moment.
One month ago I travel two and a half hours for a surgery which changed my routines for next twelve months quite radically. Being a woman is time consuming because you have to look good in every situation but being a post-op trans woman is even worse[2. I am not regretting getting bottom surgery].
Post-op care takes at the beginning somewhere between two and three hours everyday. Allocating that big chunks of time, usually one hour 15 minutes long block of time, isn't easy when your ability to function doesn't depend on a daily routine. It's exhausting when you depend on routines because post-op care can and many times is energy consuming.
In ideal world I can manage but sometimes other humans interfere. Even if it is unintentional breaking my daily routines can result in loss of sleep because I am regressing to "lower functioning"[3. Functioning labels when it comes to autism are stupid and completely wrong.] self.
Routinely I publish a post for Geek Mental Health week quite early. Today is the last day. So as you can see my routines are mess at the moment but I can still speak[4. Did I mention that I can't speak occasionally? Functioning labels are a weird concept.] and luckily my 11am lunch routine is strong as ever.